2002-03-27

On my past weekend trip to Chicago, I flew on one airline while husband flew on another. We get frequent flier miles on my trip, but it wasn't a direct flight. Since I had the longer travel time, I had quite a bit of time to think about some lessons I learned. Here they are for your amusement.

1) Don't wear hard soled loafers. I went directly from work and didn't change into my tennies. As a result, my loafers set off the metal detector after I was picked to be individually wanded (see lesson #2). Luckily, they were slip ons so it wasn't a big pain to remove them so they could be x-rayed.

2) Go to the restroom before you go to the airport. I think I was pulled to be individually wanded because I made a pit stop (the restrooms are in view of the gate guards). I think this was seen as suspicious behavior rather than as a reluctance to use the plane's restroom.

3) Sometimes taking a few minutes to read signs will save you a two mile powerwalk. I transfered planes in Detroit at the new Northwest terminal. It is a big big place. On my trip out I neglected to notice that they had a nice fast train that could transport people very very quickly from say gate b1 to a78 a distance of roughly 2 miles. Instead I powerwalked it so I wouldn't miss my connecting flight. Fortunately that flight was a bit delayed so I could catch my breath and not look too suspicious.

4) Be nice to airport workers. When they ask for your ID or boarding passes or whatever, they are doing their jobs which got really hard after 9-11. Besides if you diss them, they'll talk about you in such scathing terms so loud that everyone around them will be in hysterics at your stupidity. Yep, you who broke seat 9f, I'm talking about you.

5) If you can check in at a self-serve station, do it--those lines are shorter.

6) Airport food is expensive, but sometimes it is just worth it to have your mocha frappachino. Oh and I should have flirted a little with the coffee guy so he would have given me whipped cream and a lid that didn't drip.

7)Bring a few paperback books and be sure they are easily accessible. I got to the airport a good two hours before my flight left and had to dig through my luggage to find my book. I finished the first book in the airport.

8)Your chances to be thoroughly searched increase proportionately with the dirty clothes in your suitcase. I wasn't pulled over to have my carry-on thoroughly searched until I had in my carry-on: 2 pairs smelly sweaty socks, 2 smokey sweaters and the infamous loafers, which were also pretty bad.

9)Airport security people do not like surprises. They don't like wrapped packages either. They are not appreciative of what it is to live in a town without crate and barrel. They will give you frowney faces if they find your brown paper wrapped cookie dough scoop, even though it wasn't taped and they could get to it quick. They do not appreciate it if you tell them that they should complain to the crate and barrel salespeople if they think it is wrapped too tightly either.

10) OK this isn't really airport, but I did learn something from it. People in Chicago by and large have undergone a major personality change since I was last there--they've gotten nicer. As has the train. A nice man at the airport told me which way to get on the train, a nice cta cop told me which stop to get off at and no one panhandled me on the train. An all around good experience--oh that and I could understand and hear the intercom announcing the stops as they no longer leave it to the conductors. All that was missing was the courteous warning to "mind the gap."

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