Stalking the Stacks with Library Lil
*Stalking the Stacks with Library Lil* |
2008-04-03 Last week I had an epiphany, at the hair stylist's of all places. She was setting up to cut Amy's hair and I said--it has been tangling a lot lately and she screams if I brush it-- what would make that better and she said--you'd be surprised what taking an inch off will do, and I was. Then I remembered I had long hair when I was her age--longer than hers--and I hated having it combed and my mom's response was a pixie cut. Trust me when I say--my hair is not and never was pixie cut material. My mother HATED it and thus, I began a life of growing out my hair--with a brief time with a "Toni tennile" hairdo. It struck me, perhaps my hair would have been pretty had it been cut either slightly shorter or perhaps just you know trimmed. And then it hit me like a ton of bricks--my mom really has trouble with the "happy medium." I suppose that we all do, really. And perhaps my mom doesn't have any more trouble with it than most--or you know maybe she does I don't know. The point is that sometimes I have trouble with it too.I've been really down lately. Since November, I've gained 7 of the 30 pounds I lost back. I signed up for a race that is in 16 days and I am having trouble not just running, but finding the motivation to run. Part of it is the treadmill. I HATE the treadmill. I thought it would be more like running outside, but really--MIL's basement is a boring place to stand and run--even with the tv on. Husband thinks I just lost some endurance between having halted my outdoor running in November and re-starting in January. He thinks I never really pushed myself to get it back and I found the treadmill so boring that I got even weaker. I just am starting to feel like maybe it is a good thing that I still have my bigger jeans because wah wah, I'll gain it all back and pass out during this race and never ever feel like I can call myself a success again. See where I am with this happy medium thing? Really in the grand scheme of things seven pounds is not all that bad--especially (and this is key) you catch it and do something about it. I've gotten into some bad food habits lately (seconds anyone?), but I know what they are and I'm working on getting back on track. It is a setback, but honestly, I had pretty much decided that perhaps 138 was where I should be--rather than the goal of 135. Maybe I'll aim for 135 by summer's end, so if I gain a bit over the holidays I'm not feeling all muffin top--like I am now. I suppose that half the solution to any problem, is actually recognizing the problem. Since discovering last Thursday this whole happy medium thing, I do catch myself bouncing to extremes, instead of being balanced. I'm working on it though--one inner message at a time. |
