2008-01-17

I don't remember if I wrote about one of my friends who was in the hospital in November (at the same time, on the same floor as MIL!), but yesterday she passed away. I had taken the girls to see her in early December and had planned to go the next week, but I got sick and didn't want to give her my cold. I had asked her husband if she would be up for a visit this week, but he said she wasn't doing so well. The obituary is in tonight's paper, and the picture that they published has her smiling so brightly, just as I hope I always remember her. Her husband works with mine, and several years ago she and I were in the same masters program at the university they both worked for. She was always so bright and sunny and happy, and I always appreciated my conversations with her. This summer (and last summer too) she invited our family to their cottage on the lake and I hope I always remember those times too. I'll miss her and my words are failing.

As if I didn't know this already, when you have young children in your life, life keeps moving. There's no time to greive with Amy and Emily around. Especially since Amy had a really really loose tooth. I say had, because yes, she lost it. Of course she lost it while she was eating a piece of candy and swallowed it. This, as you might imagine is tragic to an almost five year old who is convinced the tooth fairy trades money for teeth, not for gap toothed smiles. After she screamed and cried for a few minutes, I was able to calm her down. We left the tooth fairy a note (That said--dear tooth fairy, please bring me whatever you bring) and she delivered a golden dollar. Emily was jealous and left the tooth fairy her own note. The tooth fairy wrote back and said Dear Emily, keep wiggling, I'll see you soon. Emily however remains convinced she'll also swallow her tooth.
Both girls have been all excited with all the "news" they have to deliver. So much so that everyone they tell about the tooth also ends up hearing of the friend's death. I am trying, probably most unsuccessfully to both be honest with them and have them not be ghouls. Our friend was young (56, but I would have guessed in her 40s had I not known the ages of her boys) but had been fighting cancer for a few years. So I had explained to the girls (who were shocked that someone "not old" could die) that she had a really bad disease called cancer. "sometimes you can cure cancer, but this time they couldn't" was what I said. I'm hoping this message sticks with them, because there is a preschool mom fighting cancer (whom I do not know very well at all) and I don't need Amy or Emily informing her children of our friend's death from cancer. I probably sealed the deal when I told them not to talk about death at school.

In an unrelated turn of events, Amy has a cold and will not actually be going to school tomorrow (102 temp check, 90 minute nap check). So far, the plan is to see how they are tomorrow and send Emily if she feels OK. I may or may not skip the yoga class I usually take on Fridays. Part of me is scared to because when I am fragile emotionally I tend to cry in yoga. I am practicing being more open to the flows of the universe. We'll see how that goes.

It seems almost petty in the midst of death and grief and childhood illness to think about how I miss sleep. I do though. I miss sleeping all night with no one hollering MAMA! I feel like perhaps I could better cope with everything if only I was allowed a few nights of uninterrupted sleep.

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