Stalking the Stacks with Library Lil
*Stalking the Stacks with Library Lil* |
2008-01-21 Saturday I attended the most interesting memorial service I have ever been to. I wanted to say weird, because initially I thought it would be. I'll have to give people names her to keep everything straight, but I hate pseudonyms, so how abut I call the deceased P and her husband G--got it?Ok, so G didn't want funeral home people greeting mourners at the church. At least that's the story I heard when MIL asked if the girls were going to the service because she had been asked to be a greeter, by the minister (and she needed to know now now now--but that's beside the point). We hadn't decided, but I told her to tell the minister that either she would or I would, In the end, I ended up being a greeter. And it turned out that G didn't want any funeral home people anywhere. And he didn't want a church luncheon. Instead, P's remains were somewhere else and the luncheon was at their house. The memorial was very well attended, showing that I wasn't the only one who thought P was a special lady (although there were several people there mainly for G, which was good as well). I wept all the way through it. I used all my tissues, all of husband's tissues, and was glad it ended when it did because I wasn't done weeping. My mom, the minister, has done a lot of funerals and she said that it is really unusual for many people to give testimonials at the open testimonial to the deceased time. And she says, it is really unusual for someone so close to the deceased to give a eulogy. I would say that it is also unusual for the minister to get the remarks just right. And all of this happened. The minister really had a grasp on P and what sort of woman she was, and that came through as he discussed her teaching and her devotion to her family. G gave the main eulogy, which was sweet and romantic. I wondered what husband would have said about me. G only broke up at the end, which I thought was amazing--but I was weeping from he opening hymn, which P had picked and reminded me so much of her. I can't imagine what it must be like to watch someone you've loved since high school suffer and die, and then stand up and tell everyone how you met and what made you fall in love. Oh no now I'm weeping again. It made me wonder, what will people say about me when I am gone. Will people stand up and say how strong I made them feel, how much they loved my insight? Will people stand up and be so overcome with missing me that they can only say--Thank you for being my friend? (although, I sincerely hope that husband's co-worker Phyl will NOT stand up and tell people that I made her realize--just then--that other people were indeed people with real lives. Of course now that she's realized it she won't need to.) I was worried about how this funeral home-less memorial would go, worried about how all those people would fit at P and G's house. But really, it was the perfect tribute to P. It went smoothly. People filtered in and out of the luncheon. People laughed at the funny stories and people wept. Amy and Emily didn't attend the service (Amy was a bit squirrely from being sick) and they were so concerned with saying good bye to P and telling G they would miss her (as well as worried about what their cat and dog would do for pets from P) that we took them to the luncheon. They both were really good sports and gave G a big hug, which surprised me, but seemed to make him feel better. |
