2008-03-27

While I was gone lots of things happened, both girls lost a second tooth, they both learned how to ride their new bikes I finished a quilt, finished some baby socks, and came to a few decisions.

First, I want to say I missed you all. Even though I don't hear from many of you (seriously 100 people on the notify list and the most e-mails I ever get about an entry is 7!) I do feel like you listen and one thing I realized this last 6 weeks is that I appreciate that and I need that. I tried keeping a personal journal and got strangely unmotivated after 3 entries. It isn't like I get e-mails after every entry or comments or whatever, but I do feel you all reading (although that sounds really hokey).
And I came to a decision. I talked with husband about this and started a new crafty blog under my own name. I have a few entries up and so far I'm liking it--I'll give the notify list the url. If you aren't on the notify list and want to know the url, drop me some e-mail. His only real condition is that I don't talk too much about my personal life. So there probably won't be cute kid stories over there. It went strangely like the conversation we had eight years ago except that I think I may have written about more private stuff than he would have wished and I never followed it up with him the way I have with this crafty blog. I'm enjoying writing there, but I do feel that it won't be like writing here.

What I didn't decide was what to do about this space. I like writing here, I like writing semi-anonymously. I mostly like that with a few exceptions I don't know my readers in the sense that I see you every day or week or month. It is liberating to write for people who basically know you through your writing. It has been a little hard writing knowing that people I actually interact with in person will be reading. I had initially though that Livejournal could fit the same purpose as this space--to write about my life in a way that I could someday look back on and read what I've written and remember--Oh yes this is what it was like to have 5 year old twins. Livejournal doesn't do this for me. For one thing, I feel it is more ephemeral than this space, at the will of a giant corporate entity who could yank it down basically with no warning. I write longer here, so I compose offline and save what I write. If diaryland were to cease to exist, I do have (although in a really mixed up form) all of my archives (I have copied over everything I didn't have from the early days).
But then there is the whole reason I started thinking about this issue. I feel bad for having this whole eight year thing going on that husband isn't here for. It doesn't sound as if we have this strong relationship--and yet we do. I believe in soul mates because of him. He just doesn't understand this--he never has, he's a pretty private person.

So for now, no decisions. I may still post here, I may not. But I'm not going to restrict myself like I did with the hiatus. If there is something I need to share, need to remember, need to mark in some way, it will most likely be here. But I also will most likely not be posting here as often as I used to. But, the rss feed is still here, the notifylist is still there and both will keep you updated.

Oh and one funny story--one of the people in my knitting group said to me when I told her I was starting the craftyblog--OH you are going to LOVE blogging! I had to bite my lip to say with a straight face--Oh I think I will.

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