Stalking the Stacks with Library Lil * |
2009-02-16 Nine years ago yesterday I started a diaryland account. and nine years ago today I got the courage to write this:This is a first for me. I'll admit it. I have never before "journalled" or even kept a paper diary, aside from the pre-teen angst/giggle combo that made up my twelfth year. So why am I doing this now? Well, in part because I always wanted to have a place that I could write down my thoughts and in part so I would have an outlet for... well for my life. I recently have begun a new job as a children's librarian. Its been a rough transition for me. I share an office now with a woman I don't particularly like. And I am still not too sure what I am supposed to be doing. I picked the name Library Lil from a book by Suzanne Williams. It's about a girl who loves to read so much that she becomes a librarian and convinces a TV addicted town to read more. My kind of heroine. AND she doesn't have to share an office with a woman she doesn't like. I've just spent the last 30 minutes re-reading my entries from those first few months. I wonder what the evil ex officemate is doing these days. I googled her, but it is hard to tell which one is her. I am glad my life has changed these last nine years. Glad I no longer work there, glad I have my girls. Of course I regret many things too, but I'm choosing today to be positive. I've been especially tired this weekend, and I wonder if it isn't some subliminal way to mark the other anniversary that is today--the 8 year anniversary of our adoption disruption. I guess I thought I had more to say on that, but I don't. Crying over it doesn't help, not crying doesn't help. If you believe that the tired feeling is my body trying to mourn, then trying not to think of it isn't helping either. |
