2009-07-27

My latest *thing* has been first grade. You see the ladies are going next year (I KNOW!) and I'm already kind of worried about the whole--they're eating there and spending the entire day away and all that stuff. THEN I find out that there is this issue with the teachers. You see there are currently 2 first grade teachers, Mrs. N, who won a district wide teaching award a few years ago, and Mrs. M. In addition the school is moving a second grade teacher down to first grade because of class sizes (the class above Amy and Emily is small) her name is Mrs. H. Towards the end of the school year all my talks with other parents have led to me learning a surprising fact--most parents request teachers.

Now with kindergarten, I requested morning, because A and E are both early risers and they wear out in the afternoon and honestly I knew we'd fritter the day away if they had afternoons. I also requested they stay together. Both requests I thought were unobtrusive and really based on Amy and Emily's personalities. So for this year, I met with the teacher and we talked and decided that Amy and Emily would be fine either way--together or separate, but due to jealousy issues, it might be best to keep them together another year. And I really think that it doesn't mean they won't be in separate classes eventually or that they aren't developing their own interests, I think of it more as ensuring they know someone in the class. But I didn't request a teacher.

I came to find out that I know eight parents who requested teachers (out of like the 14 I know) and they ALL requested Mrs. N. When I talked to the one I think has her head on the straightest (ie I like her) she admitted that she requested anyone but Mrs. M. I've asked and asked and asked and the only answers I get are: My other kids/cousins/nephews had Mrs. N. and One, I heard Mrs. H was a reading specialist and I think little Mary needs that. No one has said--Oh Mrs. M is EVIL. And I calmed down a bit.
Then, at a birthday party this week it came up again, and I did hear one mom say--well I've heard bad things about her (Mrs. M). No one would elaborate. Cue freak out.

I had already made my peace with the fact that we will most likely get Mrs. M--although if I were principal I'd ignore the requests for teachers that were based on nonsense (and if I saw that 30 people requested one teacher and no one requested the other I'd be looking at the other teacher to figure out why). And my friend Dr. Mom (she's a friend who is another mom--not mine--and she has a Phd) said that in her opinion yuppieville parents are insane and a lot of them pick teachers that are perceived as nice (and sometimes that means teachers that reward with candy). Husband says--we'll be in there enough volunteering and if there is a problem we won't hesitate to address it. I know that both Dr. mom and husband are right. I had almost talked myself down from the ledge. And then I saw the headline in the paper: "Picking Junior's teacher: Should parents weigh in?". wholly molely I almost didn't read it, but I'm glad I did.
The highlight/money quote for me was this "'Our job as parents is not to make everything perfect for our kids.' Children learn important life lessons--how to be resilient and adapt to a range of situations--when required to roll with life's punches."
Phew. because that's right. I might be able to pick a good first grade teacher for them. I might be able to do that all through elementary/middle school. I could help them select high school classes too. but in the end, i can't live their lives. I can't pick their bosses--and honestly they need to learn to get along with bosses they don't like, don't get along with or otherwise have conflicts with. They need to learn how to handle those conflicts.

I'm thinking this won't stop me from worrying until the school year is underway. But it gives me a good mantra/answer when people ask me if I picked a teacher.

Previously Next