2009-10-12

I have a ton of reasons, excuses really. I hate that it starts comparatively late and yet so early that I almost always have to wake Emily up. I hate that they don't get out until 3:40. I hate how tired they are at the end of the day, making them total grump monsters. I hate how Amy seems so reluctant to go, and I wish I knew exactly why. I hate how they are supposed to be reading 20 minutes a night and how I feel the pressure to "make them" read because I feel like we might be taking the enjoyment out of it. I hate how school keeps them from the marathon sessions of Barbies and polly pockets and painting that they do on their days off. I hate how homework (tiny things that take 10-15 minutes) comes home every so often (probably 3 times a week). I hate that my kids are exposed to all kinds of yuck from strep throat to lice in part because of the cluelessness of other parents.

But all those excuses really boil down to one thing, I hate letting go of my babies.
Sometimes I think that I should be homeschooling. I know I could get everything the school takes 6 hours to accomplish in probably three hours. I know I could teach math skills way more fun. Heck I could teach everything way more fun. Amy and Emily would have time to play and explore and in some ways I feel like this is way more important right now than the worksheets they keep bringing home.
But I also know that both Amy and Emily enjoy the social aspects of school. They love recess and talking with their friends and having the BFF club at lunch. Emily loves the tasks--she loves the worksheets and the writing and all of it really. But Amy, oh Amy. She isn't a worksheet girl. She needs a lot of practice writing and a lot of small motor help. She struggles with a lot of aspects of school because of having to do so much writing of things. And I know that she needs to do these things and it would be a daily fight for me to get her to do those things, even in fun ways. I'd have to use a tremendous amount of creativity in order to keep her on task.

So we'll struggle through school and we'll adjust and I'll still teach them things at home and let them play as much as they can on the weekends. At least for now you won't find us at soccer practice or brownie meetings. But you might find us in the backyard collecting leaves to dip in paraffin wax or planting tulips. You'll also probably see me listening from the backyard to hear if I can catch a sound or two from the school playground at lunchtime, glad that I took the time to stay home with Amy and Emily while they were home, even if it makes it a little harder to let go now.

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